


Accepting Anxiety: Director's Cut

by IsisKitsune



Series: Sanders Sides: Director's Cut [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Behind the Scenes, First Meetings, Gem Fusion, Gen, what if...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 18:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16202861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsisKitsune/pseuds/IsisKitsune
Summary: What if... "Virgil" didn't exist, what if Anxiety wasn't a separate side but a fusion of two? What if Thomas never met Anxiety, and only being aware of the side's existence merely assumed the side was one of the distant unseen influences he's aware of but never interacts with like he does the core 3 he makes videos with? What if "Virgil" was his representation of the unseen side?And what if Anxiety finally shows themself?





	Accepting Anxiety: Director's Cut

**Author's Note:**

> Been staring at this little snip for over a week, but I'm honestly too tired to try to do editing on it mainly because I'm likely to spiral myself into a pit of despair if I try to add to it.
> 
> First time trying at this fandom, I hope I at least kept everyone in the ballpark of character though I will admit it might seem a bit ooc due to my own take on the "Video" sides and the "IRL" sides playing up on the extremes of their personality in my headcanon.

Morality was bouncing as he watched from within the mind palace, “We should tell him...”

“Morality, please, not now. This falls under artistic license, he's using the character to portray a condition that a large number of people have, be it temporary due to situational causes or a constant mental disorder. Let him use Anxiety as an example of his own.”

“But it's not, he's not, that's now how we work!”

“Morality, deep breath, neither of us need to get into this right now, Thomas is already worried about the outcome in this portrayal.”

“I'm sorry, I'm just, emotional.”

“Yes, and I'm currently running through possible outcomes, perhaps we shouldn't be so close together, you know the problems that causes for Thomas.”

“But, I don't wanna be alone right now... With all this, worry.”

“And I don't want to be alone with my thoughts at the moment. Perhaps we can, watch a movie or something? To, get us side tracked enough to allow Thomas to go through the motions?”

“I hope this works, I really don't want to put the kiddo into a full blown worry storm, not when he Just got the character the way he wants it.”

“Him, Morality, after all Thomas is a Cis Male, with he/him pronouns and the occasional.. Dude,” Morality snorted, “You forgot Guuuurl,” Logic sighed at Morality's giggling, “Those aren't pronouns Logic, those are... well, non-gendered or gender neutral pronoun variants might be a good describer for them. But that's in Thomas' case, everyone has their own little, No words and pronouns.”

“I'm aware everyone has preferred pronouns Morality.”

“Yes, well I mean people have their preferred non-gendered words too,” Morality shrugged as he conjured a big fluffy teddy bear to hug as he watched wide eyed and heart a flutter as Thomas was changing the camera angle. “We really should tell him though...”

“You know how the rules work, Morality, we can not tell him something new about himself without permission. He has to get the idea first before we can even offer any knowledge on it.”

“But...”

“There can be no 'but's here Morality, we can not say anything until He is ready to hear it.”

“But, can't we even drop a hint?”

“Morality,” Logic growled as he tugged off his glasses and glared at the wide eyed side. “We Can Not.”

“Not even that 'Anxiety' prefers 'they/them'?” Logic stomped off, leaving the Moral side to worry and hug his teddy bear tighter. “I didn't mean to upset you.”

-

“Can we do it now?” Morality bounced as Logic glared, “We can't do it yet?”

“No, he hasn't brought it up. 'Anxiety' is still a character.”

“But Thomas is using the character to accept his own anxiety! Can't we tell him-”

“Morality, we can not, he has to bring it up. We can not, honestly, he still thinks that 'Anxiety' is so shy he won't come out to show himself.”

“But, we haven't corrected him about that though, it's not his fault thinking 'Anxiety' would be, anxious about himself. It's kinda the truth.”

Logic grumbled and rubbed his eyes, “We can not tell him, he has to bring it up. He has to want to know the truth about himself before we can do anything here Morality.”

Morality was sniffling at him, dark circles showing as the Logical side was drawn closer, “But, he's accepting Anxiety, he's even making a whole video about it. Can't we? The thought has to be there Logic.”

“It's not, Morality, the thought is helping accept that Anxiety is there, it's real, and it's something you can thrive with, even with its attempt to hinder. It's, it's just a story Morality, even if Thomas has accepted he has anxiety, he isn't reaching for the truth about his own.”

Thomas' shoulders drooped as he took a shaky breath when the Moral side leaned into the Logical one, “I need a minute,” was proclaimed as he excused himself to get a drink and to calm his sudden worry and thoughts about how this whole video could go wrong. Regardless of Joan's and Talyn's reassurance he just couldn't shake the sudden anxiety about the video.

“Guys, can I, talk to you for a minute?”

Their pulse skyrocketed, Logic unsure of how to pull away but knowing it would be imperative if they wanted to of any help to their Whole. “We have to pull away- But it's better not to be alone- We're never alone, we always have Thomas.” Logic was feeling the tether tightening, “But we still don't want to be alone with our thoughts.” They closed their eyes and tried to breathe, when they opened their eyes they saw Creativity frowning at them with a worried look in his eyes. “We're okay, we just, we don't want to be alone right now.”

“Neither does Thomas. Perhaps, it's time for him to meet His Anxiety?”

“He's not open to us yet.”

“Anxiety?” Creativity smirked at their Whole's voice, “It's okay, you don't have to come if you don't want to, I understand, but, you would really help out right now. Just breathe through the thoughts and the worry.”

Creativity reached out and suddenly had four arms grabbing for him, “I'd say that's him asking, wouldn't you?”

“Yes-No-Maybe? That's him accepting Anxiety, not wanting to be involved, not him asking to know us.”

“Logic, I know you're in there. That is curiosity, that's your department. And Morality, that calming feeling? That's acceptance. That's him accepting you, he just knows well enough how bad his own anxiety is about social situations and especially new situations. So, how about we stop with the shell games and go introduce our Thomas to the Real Anxiety? Hmm?”

Their chest was tightening, making them pant, horrible scenarios were playing through their head as Creativity held them tight. “It's true, isn't it? All of it. He, wants to meet- us- we shouldn't go-we should -Thomas knows we're here-he doesn't know Us just Anxiety-But, he hasn't given permission- not all permission is verbal.”

“Anxiety,” their eyes landed on the creative side and blinked at his smiling, “Come on, Thomas is calling, let's go see what he wants.”

“Thomas is calling for us again- he hasn't given us permission!”

“You're using that as an excuse, he's calling for you, that's the permission. He mentioned you, specifically, you know this as Logic, you just can't see past your current status.”

“We need permission-we have it-he hasn't given permission.”

“I'll go talk to him, and when you hear the words, that's your cue,” Creativity sank out as four arms grabbed for him in fear.

“Anxiety,” Creativity's voice made them blink, “I know you heard that you hear Everything.”

Thomas had said he wanted to meet them, wanted to learn about them, wanted to know.

“We should go-we shouldn't even exist as we are- Thomas has given permission to know- Thomas has given permission to know,” was repeated in that odd duel voice of theirs before they took a deep breath and sank out. “Hello Thomas.”

Thomas blinked wide eyes at them which caused them to step back and nearly get into a fist fight about which hand could reach up to fix their glasses to have _something_ to do while their Whole gaped at them like a fish out of water. “A-anxiety?”

“That is our current status, yes-can we have a hug Thomas?”

Thomas blinked at the creative side, who nudged him, “Well Thomas? They want a hug, if you don't I will.”

“But, you always play off hating Anxiety.”

“I 'hate' the character Anxiety, honestly it's just, misplaced passive aggression towards your interpretation of the role. I knew they wouldn't like having you portray a character so much like themselves that it would make them uncomfortable helping you with the stories so I- nudged you away from the real Anxiety.”

“So, Anxiety is, like a fusion?”

“In your case, yes. You said it yourself, Anxiety is the thoughts and fears you have, nothing more.”

Thomas rubbed his eyes, “Oh my god, what have I put you through?”

“Nothing-we're the ones that usually put you through things.”

“So, my Logical side and my Moral side are the core of my Anxiety?”

“Yes, Anxiety is just, when they get too close to a similar conclusion and one ends up influencing the others reaction. It's like how I can give Morality ideas the same way I can even get Logic to be creative.”

“Huh, that, actually makes sense, most of the time my Anxiety is based around over thinking, or working myself up until there's really nothing left but emotion causing it to be even worse than what it is.”

“Sorry-You're right-We try not to but-We don't like being alone with the thoughts-It's scary being alone.”

“But, you're never really alone like this, I mean, you're two fused into one. It's... fascinating really, but kinda scary too. What if, you don't unfuse?”

“We admit there are times we don't for-days-weeks sometimes,” Creativity patted their shoulder, making them jump.

“It's alright now, you won't be alone and you have plenty of open ears to listen to any worries or thoughts.”

“But-Thomas wants Anxiety here-we're needed as we are not as we were.”

“I actually wanted to gather you all here, to help me clear something up. I have a name idea for Anxiety, and I figured he wouldn't show up so I wanted to run it by you guys. But, now that I know all this... it doesn't seem right.”

“Thomas we are Your Anxiety-'Anxiety' is a character; call them, him, whatever you want-it's not us, our opinion doesn't matter.”

“Of course it matters! It's based off you, even if I have the info wrong, it's still based off you. The least I could do is make sure you like the name.”

Creativity was positively bouncing with anticipation, “Tell us!”

“It's just a name for a character, Thomas-Just look at Roman. Creativity was over the moon when you finally settled on that name.”

“It fits so perfectly!”

“What would you like to be called?”

Two sets of eyes blinked at him behind a set of glasses, “We've never discussed a name for us-we're not one, we're two, a name just didn't fit for us.”

“At least I got the duel voice right,” Thomas mumbled, making the Anxious sides snort softly.

“Not quite but you were close.”

“What should I call you? As you are now I mean.”

The anxious sides fiddled with their fingers and bit at their lip, “We don't know.”

Thomas frowned at them before sighing and holding out his arms for a hug, “Well, welcome to the Sanders Sides Anxiety.”

Their Whole flinched a little when two sets of arms grabbed for him, but only due to the tickling of the extra limbs wrapping around his ticklish sides. “Thank you Thomas-for accepting us as we are.”

“I want to call 'Anxiety' Virgil. It's believed to be derived from Vigilant.”

“That, is an appropriate name for him, given his role in the Sanders Sides.”

“Yeah?”

“Thomas,” the anxious sides stepped away and smiled softly, “We'd like that.”

Thomas laughed and hugged them again, “Good, I can't wait to tell Joan and Talyn.”

 

 


End file.
